When it first came

She could feel its uncertainty

Just a trace

Nothing more

But she recognized it

For what it was

She knew there was no half way with it

It was all or nothing

As soon as she showed any sign of doubt

It went away

Finally after many attempts

It came properly

It was like having a fever

She felt hot and her face started sweating

But the more it came

The less sick she felt

She became clearer and more energized

So she kept trying until it was fully inside her

And when it was

She was aware of its filth

Its stagnation and stink

But she could not sense it physically

It was just an observation in her mind

She could not smell the stench

Or taste it

But she knew it was inside her

And that she had invited it in