Legal High

It was a nice warm
Sunny afternoon
In Worthing
I was drunk
Looking for weed
I soon ran into Andy
We were pleased to meet
We met some of his friends
A tough guy and a pretty girl
There was some talk
About the strength
Of legal high weed
We sat at the usual place
A bench just around the corner
We smoked a spliff
I was drunk on beer
With more cans
In my small backpack
Which I shared
Talking to Andy
Telling him how the children in the park
Drove me almost insane
Always screaming
The pretty girl kept bursting into laughter
For some reason
I thought she was laughing
At me and my stories
She kept bursting into giggles
But she explained
That she had not been so stoned
For quite a while
So I felt relieved
And went on with my stories
Eventually they left
I felt so great
There was no way
I was going home
So I bought a liter of scotch
Took a few slugs
On the walk home
In the darkness
Something happened to me
All the people were dead
Had died
Of Ebola
And I laughed
That I could take any car I wanted
I kicked a few of them
Telling them they weren’t good enough
For me to steal
And then I saw a light
It was the ancient meeting place
Where the surviving pagans would meet
And dance
Like Stonehenge
I felt so warm inside
To know there were other survivors
Of the deadly plague
I had to go there
But when I arrived
It was just the statue of Mary
Holding Jesus
In the park
Next to the public toilets
I knew that statue well
I stared at the statue
And Mary became
A large well defined vagina
Then I knew I had the answer
Of it all
I sat down on a nearby park bench
And considered the Universe
I was disturbed by some stranger
Telling me that I had wasted
All my scotch
And yes there it was
An empty sad tipped over
Bottle of scotch
And I thought
It’s time to go home
It took me months to realize
What had happened
When I Googled
Legal high weed
But to be honest
I loved the hallucinations
Made a change
From the booze